My son, who is 5, was talking about when he gets older and things he was going to do. Then, he got really sad. When I asked him, why he said that I was not going to be there when he was 13. I asked why and he said “cause you will be dead.” Well, this threw me off. I guess he did not get the concept of years. To him, being 13 was many, many years away.  So, I had to reassure him mommy would be around for hundreds of years lol.

Funny how kids see things….

This made me think of the first time as a nurse I had to go through having a patient pass away. It is never something you get used to. It is never something you are prepared for. AND each time I cry.

I was on my third practicum when it happened. It was not something they initially thought was going to happen while the patient was in the hospital, but over the days the patient deteriorated. It was hard for me to work with the patient, knowing what could happen at any time.

Even worse was the fact that the patient had no family. I did not want the patient to be alone, if I could help it. If I was around and free, I made sure I spent time with the patient. The patient did end up passing away when I was there. Now, having had many more patients pass away, I don’t always remember each of their names, but I do remember the first one.

It was emotionally very hard on me. Even now it still is. I guess I am sensitive to these things, and  I think that is ok. To me, it’s part of being a great nurse, when you can show emotion to your patients as well. I am not just at work to do my job. I am there to make a difference for my patients, and I truly show them I care.

So, for all you who are just heading out there….You will encounter similar things. Just remember, it’s ok to cry.